Over 10 years ago, I had hit rock bottom in my life. I lost my job, my apartment and my car all within a week's time. Luckily I was able to find a safe residence with my brother, but I felt as low as I could get. I spent the next several months getting my feet back underneath me again.
One night (I don't remember the exact date anymore), I woke at 3-4 AM and just felt like writing. The below text is the result of the late night brain dump (I apologize in advance for the bad grammar and/or spelling but I am posting as it was originally created).
I remember once hearing
someone say, ‘A person is only as wealthy as the friends they keep.’ I’m not really sure where I heard it or even
who said it, but it was one of those quotes that really stuck with me over the
years. And it made me consider some
things. How does a person really get
through life alone? How can one person
actually do everything by himself or herself?
I looked at these ideas, these concepts on life and then I looked back
at that one quote. That one quote told
to me many unknown years ago and I began to realize something.
At one point in my life I believed that I had hit
rock bottom, the bottom of the barrel, etc.
I had dug my hole and now all I could do was sit at the bottom and stare
up at the top thinking it was to far away for me to ever get out again. I had lost it all, my car, my home, my
job . . . you name it, I seemed to have
lost it. I thought everything was
hopeless and that there was nothing I could ever do to help myself. Until I began to look around and in this
giant hole that I had dug for myself I began to see ropes. These ropes, which lead the way out, had been
there the entire time. I was just to
busy creating more problems for myself, and digging my hole deeper and deeper,
that I never noticed them before.
It took a
little time but I began to realize that there was help, friends and family, at
the other end of these ropes. Trying to
help me, by bringing me out of this hole I was digging. So eventually I turned to the ropes. I started to use them to bring myself to the
surface. Unfortunately the problem soon
came that I wasn’t going anywhere. I had
finally seen these ropes and was now trying to take the help they provided, but
I realized all I had accomplished was that I was hanging there or pulling the
ropes down with me. So I let go, and
fell back into the darkness I had created.
With letting go several ropes disappeared. Retreated out into the open. Yet, a few remained. Some select ropes remained to assist me in
getting me out of trouble.
However I didn’t grab the
ropes right away this time. I sat there
for a while. Looking at the ropes and
the journey they would take me on. Then
I looked at my hole, my dark cavern of trouble.
I gazed at all the work I had done over the years and I decided it
wasn’t worth it. I didn’t like what I
created and wanted out. Yet, I was
afraid of the ropes. They weren’t able
to pull me out before, how were they going to pull me out now. For that reason, I sat there a little longer,
staring at those ropes that lead to the light at the top. Then I realized what I had done wrong with
the ropes the first time. I had expected
the ropes to pull me out while all along they were actually there to assist me
in climbing out myself.
Now, I’ve never been a good
rope climber. It had always been a lot
of work I never wanted to deal with.
Nevertheless, this hole was no longer a welcome place for me. Even though digging seemed to be easier, I
decided to break the shovel. And instead
of hoping the ropes pulled me out, I began to climb out of the cavern I
created.
With the assistance of the ropes, my friends and
family members, I’m climbing out of the hole and began ‘to see the light’, so
to speak. I began to see the wealth I
truly had and the world around me in a way I hadn’t before. Because of all the ropes assistance I got
myself free of the cavern I was lost in.
Some I’ve talked to say that ropes are a hindrance in
life, restraints that prevented them from going anywhere. I found out for myself that ropes are only
obstacles if you make them that way. If
a person uses the ropes properly than they can go up and far in their
life. Out of the darkness and into the
light. If the ropes are used improperly
than down is the only other way to go.
So,
this is my thank you to those ropes.
Because of them I was able to save myself instead of waiting for someone
to save me. It was a lot of hard work,
but the results were far more greater in value that doing nothing. I like to think the ropes helped save my
life. And for saving my life I will
always be eternally grateful.
I wasn't then and am not not now much of a writer, but the overall meaning of what I wrote hit home with me in a very big way. Today I'm very happily married with 2 fantastic children. I have a job I love, a roof over my head and a vehicle that runs (and runs well). The thing about hitting the bottom, there is no where to go but up, you just have to be willing to climb.
What do you think? Ever brain dumped at the early hours and looked at it later with pride or disgust?
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